After being donkey kicked in the stomach, I was faced with picking up my grandmother. A woman who had always been a rock for me was now beaten down by the monthly payments that were eating away at her life savings. For several months, I would remind her that it was okay to sell the house. That it was up to her. But deep down inside I was lying. I was dying inside. Thinking about losing the house made me sick. It affected me so much that I started acting uncharacteristically angry (short fuse) and beaten down.
My wife even shared with me that she felt like living on Maui had changed me. A change she was unsure was for the good.
Now, after so many months of ups and downs, this chapter seems to be coming to an end. My grandma is close to selling the house and seems to have accepted her loss. I think she'll realize it's a blessing when she sees how much money she'll be saving. There is nothing like financial security.
As for me, I think I've accepted it, finally. It probably won't sink in fully until I move to the Big Island. But what keeps me strong is the fact that my grandma is going to be okay. Even though I dreamed of owning this house, I know that a home is more then four walls. It's made up of love and care.
The home I'm about to lose was more then a roof over my head. More then a big yard and a nice ofuro.
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| Just in case you didn't know what a ofuro was. This is not the ofuro I grew up with. |
It represented security, which I know I have with my family. Where ever I go as long as my family is there. That is home.
Here are some other things my home represented and I know I can take these things with me where ever I go:
1. Peace: Now I don't mean that there weren't any fights in the house. Believe me, there were some heated arguments and a few scuffles. But at the end of the day, there was no other place I felt more at ease.
2. Teacher: Home was a place I learned how to play baseball. It was where I learned the value of hard work. Where I was taught to be polite and respectful.
3. Fun: The best memories of home that stick out in my mind were the fun moments. When I used to cheer so loud for the Atlanta Braves during the World Series that I made my grandpa laugh. When I had friends over the house for sleep overs. When my brother and I played hide and go seek in the back yard.
These things can come with me. They are not loss with the selling of the house. I can bring these memories and aspects of a home with me. And more importantly I can create a similar but better environment for my children. I can create new memories and help my children enjoy their home.
Here are some pictures of the house:
I really hope I can afford a house that big one day.
I think these hand prints were done when my brother and I were in grade school.
I might miss the back yard the most. I still remember when my grandpa built us a tree house under the mango tree.
Iʻll always remember my grandma cooking stew in this kitchen. My favorite.
Those marks you see on the floor are from my baseball metal cleats I used to put on before leaving the house. My grandpa was mad when he caught me doing that.
This trophy case may look empty now but it was once filled with trophies that my grandpa accumulated over the 40+ years of coaching.
This is where my grandma used to read me bible stories to put me to sleep when I was a kid.
These are the memories and the things that we can take with us where ever we go.
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