Happy Thanksgiving

In honor of Thanksgiving, I thought Iʻd make a list of things Iʻm grateful, which arenʻt so obvious and I take for granted everyday.  Now before I start, I would like to admit that in our day it may be hard to be grateful when we are facing this...

Unrest in the Middle East

Pic Credit:  Frugal Cafe Blog Zone

Unemployment

Pic Credit:  Washington Post

No Twinkies!!!!



Despite these dark times, life is still good.  And this is why...

Pic Credit:  Mom Goes Green

Toilet Paper

Pic Credit:  filtersystem.blogspot.com

  
Clean Water

Pic Credit:  vulture.com

  
No War In Our Backyard

Now do you believe there are people this very second who donʻt have any of the blessings I just mentioned.  As Americans, lets always be grateful for the small things because other people donʻt even have that.    

Thank You Grandma

Just been watching inspirational videos since Iʻve moved to the Big Island. Hoping to be inspired, I came across this youtube video:  

I teared up while watching the video and appreciated all the things my grandma has been for me.  Now unlike the person in the video, Iʻve told my grandmother how much I appreciate her.  But watching his heart felt words made me want to shout to the world how much of an impact my grandmother has been in my life.  

1.  Sheʻs been an ear when I felt like no one was listening. 

2.  She taught me to say "thank you" and "please".  You may not know it but find people with manners isnʻt common.  

3.  She showed me love when I felt like no one in the world cared.  

4.  She went to all my baseball and football games.  It was nice to see someone support me no matter if I sucked or not.  

5.  She read me bible stories and taught me how to pray.  

6.  She drove me to my practices.  

7.  She taught me how to drive.  I tried to learn from my parents and grandpa but they were a little too scary for me.  

8.  She took care of me when I was sick. 

9.  She shared with me stories of the old days that I will always cherish and plan to pass down to my children. 

10.  She told me I was a "GOOD PERSON".  

There are many more things I could write but itʻs safe to say, she was a wonderful grandmother/mother/friend/mentor to me.  

If you have anyone like my grandmother in your life, donʻt forget to tell them thank you.      

Where Would I Be Without Her? #2

Pic Credit:  Pink Berry Shortcake

This might be a guy thing or a me thing but I didn't know the difference between conditioner and shampoo until I married my wife.  I thought the only difference between the two was that one made my hair softer.  Who knew that you were supposed to use the two simultaneously.  I didn't know.  Luckily, my wife has taught me the importance of hair care.  If she hadn't I would still be using conditioner on its own for a month.  Thank you honey.  



  

Home Again

Recently, I've hinted on my blog that my grandmother who raised me like a son was losing the home she raised 3 generations in.  Being the favorite of my grandmother, which is what my sister likes to tell me, I returned to Maui over a year ago in hopes of saving the house.  Sadly, I would quickly realize that there wasn't much I could do.  I tried to find a full time position in my field (Counseling Psychology), specifically at an educational institution and was unsuccessful to find anything on Maui.  There just seemed to be more opportunities outside of Maui.  

After being donkey kicked in the stomach, I was faced with picking up my grandmother.  A woman who had always been a rock for me was now beaten down by the monthly payments that were eating away at her life savings.  For several months, I would remind her that it was okay to sell the house.  That it was up to her.  But deep down inside I was lying.  I was dying inside.  Thinking about losing the house made me sick.  It affected me so much that I started acting uncharacteristically angry (short fuse) and beaten down.  

My wife even shared with me that she felt like living on Maui had changed me.  A change she was unsure was for the good.  

Now, after so many months of ups and downs, this chapter seems to be coming to an end.  My grandma is close to selling the house and seems to have accepted her loss.  I think she'll realize it's a blessing when she sees how much money she'll be saving.  There is nothing like financial security.  

As for me, I think I've accepted it, finally.  It probably won't sink in fully until I move to the Big Island.  But what keeps me strong is the fact that my grandma is going to be okay.  Even though I dreamed of owning this house, I know that a home is more then four walls.  It's made up of love and care.  

The home I'm about to lose was more then a roof over my head.  More then a big yard and a nice ofuro. 

Just in case you didn't know what a ofuro was.  This is not the ofuro I grew up with.

 It represented security, which I know I have with my family.  Where ever I go as long as my family is there.  That is home. 

Here are some other things my home represented and I know I can take these things with me where ever I go:  

1.  Peace:  Now I don't mean that there weren't any fights in the house.  Believe me, there were some heated arguments and a few scuffles.  But at the end of the day, there was no other place I felt more at ease.     

2.  Teacher:  Home was a place I learned how to play baseball.  It was where I learned the value of hard work.  Where I was taught to be polite and respectful.  

3.  Fun:  The best memories of home that stick out in my mind were the fun moments.  When I used to cheer so loud for the Atlanta Braves during the World Series that I made my grandpa laugh.  When I had friends over the house for sleep overs.  When my brother and I played hide and go seek in the back yard.  

These things can come with me.  They are not loss with the selling of the house.  I can bring these memories and aspects of a home with me.  And more importantly I can create a similar but better environment for my children.  I can create new memories and help my children enjoy their home.        

Here are some pictures of the house: 

I really hope I can afford a house that big one day.  

I think these hand prints were done when my brother and I were in grade school.  

I might miss the back yard the most.  I still remember when my grandpa built us a tree house under the mango tree.  

Iʻll always remember my grandma cooking stew in this kitchen.  My favorite.  

Those marks you see on the floor are from my baseball metal cleats I used to put on before leaving the house.  My grandpa was mad when he caught me doing that.  

This trophy case may look empty now but it was once filled with trophies that my grandpa accumulated over the 40+ years of coaching.  

This is where my grandma used to read me bible stories to put me to sleep when I was a kid.  

These are the memories and the things that we can take with us where ever we go. 

Dealing With Failure

 
In response to an insightful comment on my facebook page.

"Why is it no one ever blogs about the times the touchdown pass hits you right in the numbers.......and you drop the damn ball?"

This quote inspired me to write about failure and how to deal with it.  I believe this friend is right.  Many times people gloss over the hard times, the failures that they've had to overcome.  Sometimes we mask our mistakes by fast forwarding through the blood, sweat and tears to get straight to the end.  A happy ending without the painful middle.  Now, I know there is a part of the population who may not fail often or even at all.  Maybe their failures are just hiccups or small bumps in their road.  But, I know I'm one of many who fall flat on their faces time after time.  Whose mistakes seem like giant road blocks to their goals and dreams.  Who stay up wondering how they're going to mess up again.  But as I write this post, I feel that my story, like many others, have moments of triumph.  Whether large or small, every success is a building block toward a better future, a better situation and possibly a better you.

Why do we fail?

1.  We're human.  

Sometimes we don't have the physical or mental ability to solve a problem we are faced with.  Like Dwight Howard failing to make a free throw shot.  Some players just don't have the skill to hit a gimme.      

2.  Actions of others. 

We fail because of the failure of others.  Like Tom Brady is viewed as a failure the last two Super Bowls he was in when it was the defense in the end that failed.  While Eli is viewed as clutch when he's receivers stepped up. 

    
3.  Sh*# happens. 

Then there are times we fall flat because things happen.  Life happens, which can be ugly.  Like natural disasters that take away your house that you had worked so hard to possess.  Or when Rondo hyper extended his elbow two years ago that halted their post season chances.   

What are the ways we can deal with failure?

1.  Ai No Kea

This is when you play off your failure.  You tell others and yourself that it doesn't matter that you messed up because you don't care.  If you cared it would feel worst.  This could work if it were true.  However, as I experienced after realizing I couldn't help save my grandma's home those feelings come out in other ways.  For me it came out through my shortened temper.  I couldn't control my grandma's situation so I became anal about my daughter.  I would get mad at her for doing things that kids do.  I wanted her to do things my way.  "I kicked the dog."      

2.  Hot Potato 

When others fail they like to shift the focus to someone or something else.  They past the hot potato by saying things like, "If my kids weren't so needy I would be able to exercise more often."  or "If my wife was kinder maybe I would come home more."  Now the blame may be justifiable at times but even it were it doesn't change that your marriage is falling apart or that you are one step closer to obesity.      

3.  Drinking Poison  

Drinking poison is when you fall flat on your face and take responsibility.  You admit that you failed and pronounce it to the world.  This at face value seems like a good thing, however, it can become self-destructive if you start believing that you will always fail.  When you care so much that you start to fear or even wait for failure to occur.  A great example of this are baseball closers like Mark Wholers of the Braves who seemed to lose the ability to throw a strike in 1998.  Here is a link to a blog post that explains it pretty well.  Baseball Feelings   

4.  Fight

So how should you deal with failure?  In one word, "fight".  Battle through adversity.  When you get leveled by life, learn from it.  Put your head on a swivel.  If you lose, train harder and smarter.  And remember that no one goes undefeated throughout their life.  You will lose some and win some.  Life isn't about how often you've won (Getting a new job) or loss (Unable to save the only place I called home) but how you were able to deal with every situation that makes you a success or a failure.    
 
Song that has stuck out while writing this post.  It has inspired me to keep fighting.

If you don't understand the lyrics.